Available in the U.S. & U.K. February 28, 2017

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Praise for Abandon Me:

  • “Erotic and dark, the book is a courageous exploration of love as the ultimate form of plenitude and annihilation. A lyrically visceral memoir of love and loss.” Kirkus Reviews
  • “It’s easy to fall in love with Melissa Febos’ gorgeous new memoir of short essays. Febos brings a relentless curiosity and startling intimacy to the page…With her careful observations and introspection, she transcends isolation and captures the boundless nature of human emotion. Abandon Me is a fierce exploration of love and obsession, but it is something else as well—the story of woman who is unafraid to explore the harsh truths and choices that shape our lives.” —LAMBDA Literary
  • “Anyone who’s read Febos…knows that her work explores boundaries as deftly as it defies categorization. In this new collection of essays, she once again obliterates convention with her erotically charged and intellectually astute recollections of family, relationships and the search for identity.” –Esquire
  • “No subject is off-limits to Febos. She authorizes her reader to be braver, to dig deeper into their own secrets and to research those secrets in history…In her close reading and recording of her own life, Febos universalizes the pain of waiting…with each new piece Febos bends time.” —The Rumpus
  • “[In this] collection of self-aware, stylish, autobiographical essays on love, addiction, and inheritance, Febos harnesses language, moods, actions, and settings with precision. A professor of creative writing, she stuns with sentences that are a credit to her craft and will no doubt inspire her readers.” —Booklist
  • “Her mastery over metaphor is astonishing . . . What might be mere navel-gazing for a less brilliant author is made powerfully universal here. Though the particulars are hers, just about anyone can relate to the feeling of a chasm opening up inside. Febos’s awakening to her full identity, even its ugliness, is a powerful and redemptive epic.”        —starred review, Publishers Weekly
  • “Abandon Me proves unequivocally that there must be room in the literary canon for the complexity of women’s stories on erotic fixation and loss.” —Bitch Magazine
  • “A raw, brave work about truly knowing oneself.” ­­—Library Journal
  • “Febos’s gifts as a writer seemingly increase with the types of subjects and themes that typically falter in the hands of many memoirists…Febos transports, but her lyricism is always grounded in the now, in the sweet music of loss.” – The Millions
  • “Fans of Febos’ previous memoir, Whip Smart will find Abandon Me a delicious follow-up to the salacious stories of her work as a dominatrix. Those new to her writing will be insatiable for more after digging into her new offering, which details the queer writer’s relationship to love, loss and erotic addiction.” —GO Magazine
  • In her second book, ‘Abandon Me,’ Febos examines the many loves of her life—lovers as well as family—with her distinctive blend of lush language and relentless intelligence.”                      —Jackie Thomas-Kennedy, for Publishers Weekly
  • “A frequently stunning book, dealing with questions of family, identity, and intimacy.” –Vol. 1 Brooklyn
  • “[Febos is] a gorgeous writer . . . The visceral beauty of [some] scenes is matched in evocations of the sheltered Cape Cod where she grew up, its shores, lake and woodlands replete with childhood tests and dangers. Fairy tales are ribboned into the essays, as well as myth, philosophy, Jung, Rilke and pop culture mirrors such as ‘Freaks and Geeks’ — and much more.” –Minneapolis Star Tribune
  • “Melissa Febos has made the essay into a weapon as beautiful as it is unrelenting. Intellectual, erotic, and lyrical, this book arrives at emotional truths that startle and dazzle. Febos spares no one. And who would want to be spared such ravishing?”    John D’Agata, author of About a Mountain, Halls of Fame, and editor of The Next American Essay, The Lost Origins of the Essay, and The Making of the American Essay
  • “An intricately constructed and emotionally devastating collection of essays about the appearance and disappearance of love. Febos is a strikingly talented writer who pushes at the boundaries of her form and shows us just how amazing and expansive it can be.” Jenny Ofill, author of Dept. of Speculation
  • Abandon Me is a voluptuous collection of essays about the relationship between sex and surrender, desire and addiction, vulnerability and power. Melissa Febos does not flinch from the messy feminist contradictions of romantic love: What does it mean to ‘belong’ to another? What is the line between giving yourself to a lover and losing yourself? Febos unfolds her dark romance with erotic charge and sensuous poetry. The sentences are beautiful, but so is the story — one woman’s search to understand the mysteries that shaped her, and the longing that consumes her.” Sarah Hepola, author of NYT bestselling memoir, Blackout
  • “I have never read anything like Melissa Febos’s Abandon Me. It’s rare to read a book as generous as it is genius. This is exactly what Febos has crafted. Abandon Me is, in many ways, a story about how a woman’s body and body of literature hold memory. In other ways, Abandon Me is a story about stories. Febos weaves familial stories, feminist stories, communal stories, literary stories and love stories all at once revealing much of where she’s been and where we, her readers, might go if we are. Do we dare? Are we all running away from abandonment? It makes sense that Abandon Me feels completely structurally innovative. Febos has created twenty-first century text that intimately explores addiction, pain, pleasure, uncontrollable character and the strangely joyful and terrifying nuances of abandonment. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt more thankful to read a book. Abandon Me found me when I most needed it.” Kiese Laymon, author of How To Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America and Long Division
  • “This sensuous, spirited collection may be called Abandon Me, but it’s really a study in running headlong toward intimacy. Whether she’s exploring the love of family, of words, of drugs, of lovers or even of love itself, Melissa Febos is a font of both emotional and intellectual honesty. The result is a powerful, poignant meditation on not only the pain of loss but also the maddening, intoxicating, confusing and exhilarating effects of true human closeness.” Meghan Daum, author of The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects Of Discussion & My Misspent Youth
  • “Melissa Febos is the anthropologist and critic, the learned, dispassionate observer and the passionate advocate of her body’s passage through time, space, and the woes and pleasures of contact with other humans. She brings in these essays an almost child-like wonder to her life on earth, which has often been extreme and has always been dramatic, while at the same time expressing that wonder by means of a sophisticated, self-aware narrative frame. I found myself while reading this book experiencing on the one hand a detached aesthetic delight and on the other an intense desire to know what happens next. It is a wonderful achievement on her part to excite so many and various responses, and it reflects a really extraordinary range of both experience and understanding.” Vijay Seshadri, author of 3 Sections, winner of the 2014 Pulitzer Prize
  • “Abandon Me is riveting and heartbreaking and tough and passionate and beautiful and original; the final essay is a tour de force. Melissa Febos weaves the personal and the universal together, sex and family, love and violence, addiction and alienation, art and pain, into a provocative, brilliant, incredibly moving examination of power and identity.” Kate Christensen, author of The Great Man, The Astral, Blue Plate Special, & How to Cook A Moose
  • “Melissa Febos is a deep, broad and fearless thinker who manages to be as vulnerable on the page as she is smart.  These eight hard fought, hard won, endlessly compelling and ultimately elegant essays teach us that our traumas are not isolate, but in constant conversation with each other, and promise that if we listen carefully to their steady murmuring, we might find the means and the power to heal our lives.” Pam Houston, author of Contents May Have Shifted and Cowboys Are My Weakness
  • “This book made me feel more than I was prepared to about desire and identity, as though it were an exquisite vivisection of what we politely call “falling in love.” Febos’ Abandon Me is extraordinarily written and unflinchingly bold.” Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of the NYT bestselling memoirs Pastrix and Accidental Saints
  • “No one tells it like Melissa Febos. Sensual, lyrical, raw, brave, and honest, Abandon Me is simply gorgeous.” Ann Hood, NYT best-selling author of Comfort: A Journey Through Grief, The Red Thread, The Obituary Writer, & An Italian Wife